~Been gone for a while, had some major personal issues that I am sure I will be getting in to. :(

To be blunt, today sucked! Most days haven't been great but today was hard. In not so many words, end of October my husband told me he was done and there was nothing left for us to do. I never imagine my life this way, trading kids every other weekend and wishing he would say we could try again. I hate it, if we had just been who we really were insted of who we thought the other wanted us to be we wouldn't be like this now.

Babe~

I don't even know where to begin but I think in order to move on I will need to start writting. Why not here I don't picture you finding this but if you do it must be because you went looking. So here go's nothing. Everyday, well most days I wish you would say lets try again. I wanted to tell you today that why don't we get an apartment here where my parents can help me with the kids and you can be in the truck if that is what you wanted to do. Not that it wouldn't take a lot of work but I think if we both wanted to we could do it.

I don't know what you wanted from me. All I ever did was love you. I made you my everything, maybe that was the problem. But why then as soon as I ever wanted to did anything for myself did shit like this happen? I don't get it.

People tell me I'm better off, heck even you say I deserve better. Tell me why then are you all I want? Don't get me wrong I hate some of the things you do and things you don't do, but I still love you.