Backwards

I feel like I did all of this backwards! I will be 24 in a week, I have two kids and have been married for almost three years now. I am also a freshman college student. Meanwhile I have had many friends get married in the last year and feel like in the past week I have heard so and so is pregnant so many times, I'm thinking I better check to see if I am.

Don't get me wrong I wouldn't trade my kids for the world but I would do things differently if I could go back. Why did I quit school? Where would we be if I hadn't quit school? I even find myself wondering if Kevin and I would still be together. But maybe thats why I did quit, because he is who I'll spend the rest of my life with. I've lost touch with so many people, so many people that I didn't want to lose touch with. I try not to think about it much, but I really don't have any good girl friends any more. I'm working on changing that though.

I hope that my kids don't have kids so early in life. They are wonderfull, but never again will I be someone who doesn't worry about her kids. Life will never be that care free again. For anybody with kids you know what I'm talking about, but you won't understand fully untill you've had a child.

I feel like I'm juggling lately, we start ECFE tomorrow, I've got papers due monday and chapters to read, meanwhile keeping up on the laundry, dishes, cooking, cleaning and keeping the smile on my face. Most days its not to hard to do, but then once in a while I think about how diffrent life could be. I wonder what it might be like down a diffrent road, where will we be in five years, ten years, a year.........